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Dartying like an adult is about enjoying the finer things. Photo courtesy of Pixabay. Pick up a pen instead of a Facebook post. Hint: subwoofers. Lots of subwoofers. Tip your meatmaster with beer.
Photo courtesy of quixoteconsulting. Raise your pinky to the sky and revive the dignity of the darty. Here's how to darty like an adult. If you don't know what a darty is, congratulations on graduating from college. This article is for you. See, a darty is a daytime party — a term typically reserved for parties filled with Natural Light and inebriated undergr. If it's any good, it'll be outside.
But unlike other daytime parties thrown for actual occasions such as birthdays, graduations, civil unions, etc. And because the future leaders of the free world coined the term whilst barely passing Englishalcohol is almost always invited. Sometimes, thousands of these young minds get together to darty. Warning: This footage is juvenile. Fortunately, we're all adults here, and we'll be damned if we can't throw an outdoor party in the middle of the day.
And if we want to call it a darty, so be it. We're still going to be mature about it, so here's a seven-step process to throwing a darty like an adult. Sure, you could have a darty without a theme. Picasso could have made the Mona Lisa with finger paint, but you'd both be missing the point. Theme parties are whats a darty a second Halloween; everyone looks ridiculous, so nobody's embarrassed. They also make for great pictures that will solidify your darty as the best of the season. As for theme ideas, go with something that's attainable yet still hilarious.
Throw a Scottish-themed darty and require kilts at the door or a German bash complete with lederhosen and Heineken. Or focus on fashion with an ugly sweater theme. For the adventurous lot, throw an anything-but-cups party. Ban cups in your house and force party goers to bring something else to drink out of — only hoping that one aloof guest forgets the rule and ends up sipping mimosas from his sneakers.
An all-star guest list is crucial to a great darty. Definitely invite all of your friends, amigos and homies, but be choosy with mere acquaintances. Controlling the guest list is key because nobody wants to get trapped in a conversation with Todd from work, who only wants to talk about TPS reports. Likewise, you don't want random sketchballs on your property who look like a "No Loitering".
That's why you don't put the party on Craigslist. Or Facebook, for that matter. I know, one-on-one human interaction is hard in the era of GroupMe and Facebook events, but personal whats a darty make people feel special and ensure that the riff-raff stays on the sidewalk. The glorious thing about the darty is that it's outside — no monotonous indoor organizing needed. With that being said, you're going to need to go all HGTV on your property to have it party prepped.
Pay the kid next door to mow your lawn and start borrowing furniture for seating opt for benches over chairs, forcing people to interact against their will. Locate the drinks table in the corner of your yard, making guests circulate through conversations between refills. Recall the theme you nailed down on step one and integrate that throughout your yard decor. If you're worried about the neighbors, invite them. They can't call the cops on themselves. A darty without music is like a pool without water: It's not going to be very fun to dive into.
You need a system that bumps. If you don't have one yourself, start making some phone calls. Older systems can be found at Goodwill for less than ten bucks, if you're willing to do some DIY wiring. Figure out how long the party should last and make a playlist that's at least that long.
The playlist should have a progression, so no bass drops until at least an hour after everyone arrives. Or no bass drops at all, for that matter. Have a grill and a meatmaster. Instruct said meatmaster to cook a lot of dead animal and stick it between two slices of enriched white flour bread. A darty doesn't need to be a culinary exploration, so keep it simple with the hors d'oeuvres.
Just make sure there's copious amounts of sizzling, sultry meat; the vegans can bring their own quinoa. Keep your guests refreshed with a cooler of craft beer. The smaller the microbrew, the more adult you'll seem reciting the nerdy factoids you found on the bottom of the six-pack.
The traditional darty that's found in the wild will often have a keg or some jungle juice, and whats a darty nothing that says undergrad like inverting three plastic handles of Congress into a Gatorade cooler while a friend stirs in lemonade mix. Your darty is domesticated, though, so opt for a voluminous container of sangria instead. So your guests are here, bellies stuffed and cups full, now what?
We compete! Respectfully, of course. Darty games are a lot like traditional yard games but more awesome. Fill a kiddie pool with water and have your guests bob for apples on their knees. Conversational games can be fun in the right crowd, too.
Incite a brutally honest game of "Would you rather? You've worked hard to birth this bangin' darty, so don't sweat the small stuff once it starts. Resist the urge to over-host, clean or do anything but enjoy yourself. In the words of Paul Rudd, do less. Do be the vocal, valiant captain of your darty squadron, however. You are the king of this castle, and it's your right to look upon your creation with the utmost pride.
So go forth, be the instigator and lead by example — dartying is contagious after all. Edit Close. Toggle. Don't have an ?
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What is a Darty? #Dartyszn and Daytime party explained