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DR Catherine Hood is here to answer your most intimate sexual problems. I'VE been with my boyfriend for six months. Everything was great until he asked me to spank him as we were making love. I thought it was a giggle so I played along. A few weeks later he asked me to do it again.
Despite feeling a little awkward I did. Now he wants me to spank him almost every time we have sex as he says it helps him get an erection. I love him but this sex play is making me feel uncomfortable. A PERSON with a fetish gets sexually aroused by a specific action, object or situation - and your boyfriend has a fetish for spanking.
Fetishes are more common in men, and if both partners are comfortable with a fetish the occasional indulgence can be a great way to keep sex exciting. But in your case the fetish has taken over your sex life. Let your boyfriend know how you feel. Be sensitive, don't make him feel stupid for having the fetish, but try to understand it. Try to explore what lies behind his enjoyment. Is it the humiliation of being spanked, the thought of you in control, or does he feel guilty about having sex and feels that he needs to be punished?
If he enjoys you being dominant you may find other ways to achieve this. Take the lead in lovemaking or verbally scold him. He may even like you refusing to spank him - it has the same punishment overtones. Or negotiate to go along with his fantasy now and then, if in return he does something you enjoy - even if it's to make love without fantasy play. If he truly can't get an erection without the spanking, or has a guilty attitude towards sex, specialist counselling may help. Try Relate on He may be reluctant, but it sounds like his actions are putting your relationship at risk.
I love my husband but now I men who want to be spanked want to have sex with him because it hurts.
As a woman gets older she often requires more stimulation to get her in the mood. But there are other times in life when this natural process seems not to work quite so efficiently. Stress can have a bit affect. Find time to relax by having a bath, get the kids to stay at a friend's house, or try relaxation techniques and make sure you're really ready for sex. If all this fails try using one of the many lubricants available from the chemist.
Turned on by his porn videoMY boyfriend likes porn and I used to think it disgusting. But when he was out I watched one of his films and got quite turned on. Now I feel dirty and a hypocrite. Should I tell my boyfriend? YOU have no reason to be embarrassed. One third of women have used porn movies or magazines to get them in the mood.
Many couples choose to watch porn together as a way to spice up their sex lives. On the other hand you might prefer the excitement of doing something secret when your boyfriend is out of the house. Whether you choose to be up front with your boyfriend or not, I don't think you can give him a hard time about his porn habit any more.
I'VE noticed a nasty smell from my vagina, which I'm really conscious of. My friend told me that it could all be due to the new bath gel I got for Christmas. Is this true? YOUR friend may well be correct - it could well be your Christmas smellies. Profuse discharge and a fishy smell can be a of Bacterial Vaginosis BVwhich is caused by harmless bacteria in the vagina - and there is a theory that scented bath products are to blame. See your doctor or contact the Family Planning Association on The baby isn't much trouble and I feel fine in myself.
My husband is trying to be supportive but when I try to tell him I just don't feel in the mood he keeps on pestering me. Now I find excuses not to go to bed at the same time as him. What can I do? GIVE yourself a break. It's quite common for women to go off sex after giving birth. If nothing else it takes time to get used to the awesome responsibility of spending every waking moment and many sleeping ones caring for a baby.
Four weeks is no time at all, no wonder you don't feel up to sex just yet. There are no hard rules about when to start having sex after giving birth. It takes six to eight weeks for the womb and vagina to shrink to normal size, so it's wise to wait until after your six-week postnatal check-up before getting back down to it. Tell your husband how you feel, but go easy on him. He men who want to be spanked feel pressure to compete with the baby for your attention so try to share some of the child-caring duties so he feels involved - and, if possible, find some space for just the two of you.
If he continues to complain, tell him you will relent if he looks after the baby every night for the next week - by the end of seven days he'll be thinking more about sleep not sex! My wee problemI GET urine infections about five times a year, particularly after vigorous sex.
Now I have a new man and he's taking me away for a romantic weekend but I'm terrified I'll get an infection while I'm away. WOMEN are prone to urine infections because the anus, vagina and urethra are all close together. Try these simple measures: Pass urine before and after sex to wash out any bacteria. After this wash the genital area and remember to always wipe from front to back. If you're still worried then it's not such a bad idea to ask your doctor about antibiotics.
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The Sex Doctor: MY LOVER WANTS ME TO SPANK HIM